In the last message I described how my horse instinctually views our relationship as prey (him)/predator (me). Being made aware of our different viewpoints has also led me to learn a different method of communication…one in his language. Far more efficient for me to learn his, don’t you agree?
How could learning the language of your co-workers, employees, supervisors or spouse impact your communications? Not much you say? We all speak a common language (let’s assume English) and we generally understand what others say to us, otherwise we wouldn’t have made it this far.
Don’t be too sure of that! We’ve all been in situations, usually resulting in tension, finger-pointing or other forms of unpleasantness, when we realize that it was simply a miscommunication. I clearly thought you meant X and you thought I understood you to mean Y. It happens all the time.
How can we improve this? Shouldn’t it be clear what I mean? Just as I learned that my horse perceives me differently than how I think I appear, this same phenomenon happens in our human to human communication. Communication styles say far more than our words, if we are listening!
In general know there are four distinct styles:
1. Director – to the point, bottom-line focused
2. Presenter – enjoys the stage, may be seen as unfocused
3. Mediator – wants everyone to be happy and may sacrifice self to achieve this
4. Strategist – wants the details, every last one of the them, and then will make a decision
Do you see yourself in any of these characteristics? Or have you pegged your co-worker or spouse? Although far from an extensive description, perhaps you can begin to see that if the Strategist and Director are communicating on a project, one or both may be frustrated if they do not understand what is important to the other.
Would you like to learn more? Give me a call or send an e-mail barbara@acceluspartners.com. A workshop is available to get you and your team on a path to clearer communications!