After peering in our mirror and realizing we are the agent for change in our life, what does change look like? We are all familiar with the face of dramatic change. It peers at us every night from our flat screen TV’s. Hmmm…isn’t it interesting how televisions are becoming more like mirrors? Reality TV has brought dramatic change to our living room, and with it, the possibility that our lives can undergo such a radical transformation …
I am not who I see at all. This is opposite of the fairy tale we all know: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?* Of course the reflection gives us the answer we seek. What if we asked the question to a different type of mirror; one that sees more than we can? We might discover that we do not see ourselves at all. When we want something different …
You now know that “try” is not an option. Why does it come out of our mouths so often? Because the “why” is not strong enough. Many times clients come to me because they want to grow their businesses. I ask why. Because I want more income. Why? To support my family and do the things we enjoy. Why? So that we can create special experiences together. Why? Because at the end of the day …
Last week’s message focused on the power of intent and I want to take that further with the opposite of intent and that is “try”. I hear it often in my work with clients and there are a couple of levels that this works on…let me try to explain. First, I cannot try to explain. I either explain it or I don’t. If I stopped here that would be the “did not explain” part. Yet …
Even before the newsletter, “A Curious Statistic” was published, you ladies came through. Three new female clients committed to themselves and to developing their careers and businesses through coaching. I said it was a small margin by which I had coached more men than women and you have now evened it up. Congratulations! The most important thing here is that a concerning statistic has turned around in this small, unscientific study. Women have committed to …
How trustworthy are you? Do you think that people are able to trust in you easily? Or do you find yourself questioning others’ motives and wonder why they do the same with you? When you or someone else promises to follow-up, does it happen? It would be easy to say that people aren’t trustworthy anymore and you just can’t count on others to do what they promise. Perhaps that is because you don’t keep promises …
Think back to a time when you were young and someone made a promise to you that they did not keep. Perhaps it was a parent or relative, maybe a teacher or clergy or your best friend. How did you feel? Disappointed, betrayed, angry? What happened next? You let them know just how it made you feel. Maybe they had a reason or excuse, but that did not matter did it? You still felt lousy. …
This series of messages started in late February with True to You. In that message, I shared that many of us have not yet figured out who we are and our contribution to the world. Instead our head is full of “what other people think”. As you explore being True to You, you will find different tools are helpful at various times in the process. Here is another for your consideration. Most of us find …
The informational interviews were some of the most important work that I did in exploring career options in Tokyo. It wasn’t just the volume of notes that I took, or the things that family and friends shared. It was me, learning about me, practicing and trying on new roles, verbalizing my experience and strengths in the informational interviews I conducted. As a result of one of the letters I wrote, my father-in-law arranged an introduction …
Last week I wrote about informational interviews of two kinds: (1) with professionals whom you admire and respect for their career endeavors and (2) with people close to you about what you do exceptionally well. For a variety of reasons, people tend to dismiss the importance of each of these types of interviews. Let me make the case for both. In 1994, my husband and I relocated to Tokyo for his position. Given that Tokyo …
There are several factors to consider in hiring a coach; however, there are two that take precedence: education and experience. Just as you would hire any other professional, it pays to look for training and professional credentials. Coaching is a profession that has no licensing or certification requirements. That means anyone can print up a business card and call themselves “coach.” Many people think they make good coaches as friends, colleagues and family members often …
Did you think I would just leave you out there alone with a few books and your thoughts to discover the True You? Most certainly this is not a solo endeavor. If you choose to use a book as a guide through this process, you will find that it prompts you to do several things involving the input of others. One is to conduct informational interviews. These are meetings that you set with people to …
Why is it so challenging to discover the True You? We live with ourselves every day and no one could possibly know us better. Who else hears those voices in our head or feels those reactions in our gut or heart? This closeness or intimacy we have with ourselves is precisely what makes discovering you so challenging. You are not objective! You are emotionally attached, sometimes overly, to what you think and feel. No wonder …
How do you discover the True You? I’ve had several questions about this from last week’s True to You message. Many books have been written on this subject and it would take that to address all the aspects, but let me share a few clues. First, know that this is a process. It takes time and focused reflection, connecting the dots from life experiences. It also requires that you listen to and trust yourself. Perhaps this …
You continue to hear about friends and colleagues enlisting the support of a coach to help grow their businesses, enhance careers or make a change in their personal lives. What is all this talk about? What is coaching and how could a coach help you? Where do you find a coach? This article will help answer these questions and provide an outline on what to look for in a coach, as well as resources to …
Last week, I shared with you a common excuse for most people failing to do what they really want to do. They are too concerned about what others think. If you read the article closely, you noticed that I mentioned in those teenage years we were prone to “what others think” as we were trying to figure out who we were and what we were meant to contribute to this world. Although most of us …
Last week I shared the concept of be-ing and its importance to realizing your goals and dreams. Perhaps this story of be-ing will help with the concept. Many of you know of my love of horseback riding and the training my horse Usache and I do in Dressage. I have lofty goals of one day riding at the Grand Prix level. Yes, these are lofty goals!! My dressage pursuits began in 2006, almost 6 years …
I promise this to be the last message, for now, on goal-setting. It is such an important topic and many of us are not sure how to accomplish it. As a result, we never set goals and, as per the quote by Fitzhugh Dodson, “Without goals, and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination.” There is one other aspect for the successful realization of goals and …
The last several messages have dealt with goal setting and the importance of using different modes of learning to form new habits. You have to adopt a different way of doing things if you want your results to be different. That requires learning. We have visual, auditory and kinesthetic as methods by which adults learn and process information. First, we focused on auditory or “Saying Power“. That is stating your goals out loud and sharing …
So you’ve grasped the concept of saying your goals out loud and committing to yourself and others. Congratulations! This is exactly what my husband and I do each New Year’s Eve over dinner. Yet verbalizing is not enough. Remember how adults learn (hyperlink “Saying Power”)? We learn and grasp information in three primary ways: visual, kinesthetic (by doing) and auditory (hearing). You have likely heard the Chinese proverb “The palest ink is better than the …